Friday, October 17, 2008

Mom for Town Board

On the drive over to my grandparents, my parents starting talking about the town board and I realized how much power they have. I am trying to convince my parents to run because they would be so good. My dad gets mad, which for him just means he kind of growls out, "Heidi, why are you always trying to ruin everyone else's life?" So I switch to trying to coerce my mother into a new political career. My mom decides to say she is fed up with them telling her what to do. She tells me that she just got a letter from the county telling her that their records indicated they had not had their sewage pumped in the last 3 years. So I think, if you don't have your sewage pumped in a timely manner, don't you have bigger problems so why is the county regulating this? My mother says exactly. Turns out they have had their sewage pumped 2 years ago which is one of the many reason she is so upset with getting this letter. She wants to write them a letter back that says she only uses the bathroom at school and my dad only goes in the woods and there for they don't need to worry about her sewage. I say, you could turn this into your campaign issue, create a tag line for your campaign. While I sit in the car and try to pull something clever out of my youngish brain, my mother whips out, "I may be full of B.S., but that's my business." I like it, I think my mother is going to decide she needs a career in county politics yet.

Coffee Clutch Chatter

Boy I think if there is something that everyone can relishes is listening to a good story. There's such a knack for being able to deliver a story well and knowing when to embellish. My brother was amongst the best storytellers. I used to beg him to tell me stories.

Amongst my favorites was a story he would tell about fishing with my grandpa and my grandma's brother, Richard. My very strong willed grandpa was in the navy and has no fear of water or at least none that he would admit to. In fact he always says, "Anyone can survive in the water, it's fear that kills you." And Richard although having spent his entire life in Northern Wisconsin, a landscape dotted with lakes, as a defense against drowning, he was taught to be fearful of water. Even though he grew up fishing on the lakes in all seasons and I have driven out with him on a frozen lake with only the thinnest of ice, he would never dream of jumping out of the boat and going swimming. Richard is also a very serious fisherman, he has always seen it as a way of providing food for the table. My brother, of course it was never critical that he catch enough food that he would not go hungry, was still a very serious fisherman. My grandpa on the other hand, although he liked fishing and would pay huge amounts of money to go on extravagant fishing trips was not as serious about fishing.

One hot summer day, my brother, grandpa, and Richard were in the boat at North Lake and apparently bored with fishing, my grandpa proposed that he could jump out of the boat with all of his clothes on and swim the length of the lake. Wanting to enjoy the good fishing, my brother and Richard tried to ignore my grandpa. My grandpa has always had a "By GOD I'll show you attitude" and kept trying to spark interest in his swimming across North Lake idea. North Lake is not large by any standard but not pond size either; certainly enough water that one could drown. Richard can't swim a stroke and is also a perpetual worrier was very upset that my grandpa was considering jumping ship and also probably annoyed that he had ruin the fishing with the interruption. "Now Chuck, why would you do that?" Richard's fretting only caused my grandpa to become more and more animated about his prowess swimming abilities, even wagering money, that he could swim the entire length of the lake. For much of my grandpa's adult life, he has always had lots of money and generous by nature, he has always had the luxury of buying forgiveness. So my grandpa kept winding up, making my brother and Richard more and more nervous that he was going to jump in with his shoes on. At this point, when my brother would tell the story, imitating my grandpa, he would puff out his chest, broaden his shoulders and straighten out to his full six foot three inches bellering, "I'm buoyant, buoyant as duck." We would all be roaring with laughter, knowing Richard would be sick with worry and Grandpa would have been determined to show them and Hansel was just thinking, "Here we go again." You got to hand it to my grandpa though for having such faith in his 70 year old body. I don't even think at 33 that I would wager money on my swimming abilities in all of my clothes.

Now that he's gone, when I hear other people telling stories and they almost always seem inadequate, I find myself wondering what the qualities of a good storyteller are. I have determined that being a good word smith does not hurt. He was a word smith and one my fav terms that he coined was "Chronic Slug Bug." Being able to make good noises also helps. I've never been able to make good sound effects except for imitating the sound of bison in rut and only my good friend Jessie really seems to appreciate this talent of mine. My brother and my grandpa had a habit of rubbing their ear in the middle of a story. Some good storytellers still remain though. When visiting my parents, I really enjoy listening to my dad and uncle and friends talk over coffee. Even if the talk is just talk, the sounds are melodic. I wonder if they are better at oral communication because that is what the entertainment for their generation has usually been? They seem to always remember details for things 30 years ago much better than I can remember something from the day before. I wonder if this is because today we are so bombarded with information that our brain just doesn't remember the details. Also there are more ways of recording life events (videos and pictures). Being male and since eating is a recreational activity in the Midwest, it also happens to be one of their top ten topics for coffee chatter. Of course none of them are incredible cooks (my dad does fix a mean breakfast) but they all seem to posses the ability to critique restaurants as if they were being paid by Savour magazine. One morning the conversation swung to a supper club that is nearby and the quality of food has fluctuated over the years. They described the bread with sound effects: "as if they took an air hose and filled up the bread." Of course in the Midwest light foods are not looked up as delectable and they were not being complimentary.

Later on my dad took me for a tour of his new logging job. Where I learned, and for the record, IKEA does not buy tropical lumber. My dad, an ol' logger, who has no idea how trendy fabulous etc, IKEA is, casually pointed to a log pile and told me those logs he sold to a mill in Stanley that sold them to IKEA. For all of you who I've walked through an Ikea store with suspiciously looking at the wood, I'm sorry, little did I know that they really do buy wood from our country. I admit, I probably would not have believed anyone but my dad but he does not lie. As my dad continued the tour through the woods, we came across my Uncle Bobby coming to the job for load of logs. He's amongst the very best storytellers and always can make a person laugh. At the logging job he jokingly asked my dad if he was giving me the scenery tour. Then told my dad that my great uncles were coming at noon to see the job. I really wanted to just hang out and wait for them to show up. All three of them have this strong Swedish Brogue that reminds me of my grandpa, who was a pillar of kindness but also had wonderful stories. So my uncle told my dad that the other sawyer, Larry, was not limbing the trees well but "Joe [skidder operator that my brother referred to as loader joe] is always pinching Larry's butt." So if you've ever been to a logging job you will realize it's hard for the cutters to limb trees well if the skidder is right there waiting for you.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Snickering over Sugar, Baby!

The evils of sugar. Day two of saying good bye to refined sugar, at least for awhile. Yesterday I was jonesing for some sugar so I called my sister and left her a desperate message that I needed some inspiration to not eat sugar. She called back in all earnestness with this response. Her advice: " You need to go to the store and buy a back of snickers hallo ween candy because snickers really satisfies you. Then you can just eat one bite size candy bar a day and wean yourself off of sugar." Well I just started laughing because what sugar addict is satisfied with a little candy bar??? And who ever really believed that tag line that snickers really satisfies?? So I called my best friend and told her my sister's gold star strategy. She called me back and said she had a better idea that would be more effective. Her plan: Go to the grocery store and buy 3 or 4 bags of snickers bars. Then eat them all in one sitting or however many it requires to puke my guts out. Then, she thinks that should take care of the sugar craving for awhile. I've decided to not try either plan but just keep thinking about how EVIL the white powder is.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Return to the Midwest



Here's all the things I forgot that I LOVE about the Midwest....
1. Can go barefoot even in the most unruly Charlie horse infested lawns. Even the worst lawns in the Midwest beat the Montana stubble by a long shot.

2. As many tomato sandwiches as you can eat....
Recipe for tomato sandwich
2 pieces of bread toasted (I like a good white bread best)
butter
mayo
Garden fresh tomato

butter bread, slap on mayo, put tomato slice to 1/4" thickness in between

3. The woods smells so good and the trees are sooo beautiful.

4. Seeking reprieve from the sun in teh hardwood shade and FINDING it!!

5. Blackberry picking

What I like about Train Trips

Here's my quick thoughts on what I like about the train trips.....

1. Most of the crowd is still not "virtually" connected or at least if they are they don't talk incesstantly on their phone. Or even more annoying is the text messaging absolute nonsense. They still know how to get to know their neighbor. I guess you are also trapped on a moving train and forced to get to know your neighbor. It's too easy for me to get to know someone via email/phone but the train provides a good ol' fashioned venue for just talking.

2. The train is similar to being snowed in in a snowstorm. Of course with global warming and plows, getting snowed in seldom happens anymore either. One of my best Christmas eve memories is getting snowed in. While the snowstorm raged outside, my mom, sista, bro, and I played cards into the wee hours with the neighbor visiting at our house. It was a partner card game and my sista and I kept making outrageous bets, bringing us further into the hole and preventing anyone else from bidding. At some point I decided to use my brother's buck grunter as our call to victory. I kept commenting on the awful smell but both my sister and I were too intoxicated on our silliness and spiked egg nog to realize the smell was doe pee that was sprayed on the buck grunter (too hide the human scent while bow hunting). By the time the game was finally over, even though our neighbor lived less than 1 mile down the road, she had to spend the night. So being on the train is similar to being in a snowstorm; you can play cards, read a book or just watch views of heartland and all without feeling guilty because what else is there you can do. It's forced time to be selfish. If you were trapped on a tropical island, you'd have to hunt and gather and try to figure out how to get off. So yeah sitting on a train can get old but for the most part it's just forced relaxation.

3. How nice is it to have to anticipate your destination? Almost anything we want these days can be instant, where as train travel is slow and you have time to think about who you are visiting or contemplate the time spent with them.

4. Easy to eaves drop and hear the political views of multiple people without becoming involved in conversation. It can also get annoying so ear plugs are a good thing to have with.

TIP: The train if cold. I thought I would reduce the crap I brought with me and just wear warm clothes. Well I had on a 2 long sleep shirts, a polar fleece jacket, wool socks and I was still eyeing the train curtains enviously, trying to figure out how I could take them down and wrap them around me. I also considered asking the conductors for a bag of pillows so I could create a cocoon of warmth for myself with them. On the way I snagged a fleece blanket from my parents and wished that I had brought a down sleeping bag with to escape the fridge.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Havre Good Trip

Well I'm in Havre anticipating a great trip on the train across country, to Minneapolis. Being a romantic, I have visions of making life long friends in the diner car on the train and playing cards all night, knitting socks (no I didn't bring the knitting needles with), reading books, and looking at the scenery. Even though I'm not on the train yet, so far I'm not disappointed--you are allowed to check THREE bags for free and take two on board. I thought this was quite a deal considering the crummy airlines are charging for one back...of course they let you take as much crap as you want on board.

Next big news is that I had extra time so I took the advice of my good friend Jessi and went to the Verizon store.... I've been looking for a phone online and am very concerned about the color. At the verizon store, I found the elusive pink phone. So even though I've always said I wanted my tombstone to read "Never had a cell phone", I've sold out. I feel disappointed in myself because I hate to think of the dam cell towers that are killing birds for my cell phone but on the other hand it's not exactly as if me not having a cell phone is going to keep towers from going up. Soo I'm now the sheepish owner of a cell pink cell phone. The cell phone was quite the character, rolly polly smoker who kept suppressing coughs but by the time I left i felt sick from the smoke smell on her. Interestingly enough the woman that sold me my phone, told me back in the 70's she took the train West and the train broke down and they were rerouted....meaning she spent 36 hours on the train!! eee gats. That is my worst fear that the train breaks down and I don't make the wedding anniversary. Then she also told me that a guy offered here a line of coke on the train but she was too young and naive to figure out what he was offering her till years later. He literally said, "would you like to do a line with me?" ha ha, I also had visions of the train being better characters than the greyhound bus crowd, but from the sounds of it they are just slightly more refined in their drug taste. Yikes. She took the romantacism right out of the train ride. The good news is my new phone comes with one month free of V cast....don't know what this means except that I can get internet on the train I think. Her words exactly (in between coughing), "It should make the train ride more pallatable."

New number is 406-641-0960 but I blocked text messaging so don't bother trying.

More to come on the train ride, think I gotta fly and go catch the train.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Chocolate Crisis, Call Grandma!

Last night after yoga, I found myself in the midst of chocolate panic. I needed to make a chocolate dish for the 3rd Annual Chocolate Festival in Gardiner that my friend Jessi and I started so yes I did bring this panic on myself. Less than a week ago, we decided that the summer was almost over and we still had not had the Chocolate Festival. We even ran an add in the Gardiner newsletter inviting others to come join us. After two years of pure chocolate dessert gluttony at the previous Chocolate Festivals and feeling like I was on the verge of sugar diabetes for weeks, I decided that I needed to bring a main course that has subtle chocolate flavoring. The idea wasn't all that tempting in the midst of a chocolate craving but I knew it would taste better tomorrow. After frantic searching and calling reliable friends for recipes, I finally found one for chicken mole soup on the trusty world wide web.

At yoga my neighbor, Joanne asked me if I was making my chocolate mousse from last year.... tempting as it was to revert to my old standby I decided I would make both rather than give up my beloved chocolate mousse. Sooo I said no because I didn't have the ingredients ....she said, "Wha da ya need?" Well she had heavy whipping cream. I got home only to discover that I had forgotten to pick up an ingredient at Food Farm for both recipes. I was missing cans of tomatoes for the first recipe and chocolate chips for the mousse. At 10 O'Clock in Gardiner, I decided a side from calling every friend I had to ask if they had the critical ingredients, there was not much I could do except go to bed and hope Food Farm opened a 7.

So bright and early instead of going off to work, I took some vacation time to prepare my recipes. I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a car. Yoga did not feel that tough the night before but I sure felt tough this morning. My back hurt so much that I had to pound on it just to make sure I didn't have a kidney infection and not just a sore back (have watched too much House). My hip was throbbing and my biceps ached incessantly. Well decided I was just getting old and drove off to the store for my ingredients....thank you lord, the grocery store did open at 7AM. Of course, I never make just one trip to Food Farm, I always forget something so I knew I'd be back. At lunch I was back for paper plates and napkins.

I don't like cutting/cooking chicken so the night before I planned to have a little to drink to make this easier but with work on the immediate horizon, getting snockered to cook chicken was not really an option. So I took a deep breath, tried not to think of factory chicken farms where there feet grow into the cages (also had visions of them running around beheaded with blood squirting out their neck), pried open the plastic packaging on my 4 packages of chicken thighs (the recipe called for 8 thighs but it did not tell how many were in a package). I sliced up onions super thin with my new knives that I love (thank you Becky). I'm not sure where my fear of chicken comes from, I'll blame it on my mom because doesn't everyone blame their mom? All of my mom's warnings about salmonella started haunting me. There are two things I live in fear of thanks to my mother: botulism and salmonella....she seems to have unreasonable fears too of these things. I started to have visions of all of G town getting food poisoning that was on the scale of the great mayo scare on House. While the chicken cooked, I kept putting the onions further and further from the chicken (and no I did not chop up the onions on the same cutting board as the bird).

I decided that perhaps this crisis called for my mom to talk me through what to do with the onions...well I could not find her number at work and thank god I didn't have it because somehow I don't think the secretary would think this warranted interrupting kindergarten class. Of course the secretary finally could have gotten me through the crisis. That's when I decided to call my Grandma.... Thank goodness they are 1 hour ahead of Montana so it's not so early in the Midwest. My grandpa answered the phone and I explained to him that I was in the midst of a chocolate festival cooking crisis...he promptly put Grandma on the line.... My question I posed to my Grandma, was can you add raw onions to the same pan that the chicken is cooking in?? This of course sounds completely ludicrous now and not at all in need of crisis management but It was nice to hear my Grandma's voice and advice. It's not like her actually being there but it's the next best thing. Somehow I start thinking of all the time she has spent in the kitchen preparing wonderful delicious meals. I can almost smell her kitchen and taste the stuffing....It's a very comforting thought. She sounded vaguely confused and told me I just needed to make sure I cooked everything well and washed the dishes well. She also started to mention something about knives and bones but I didn't have the gumption to tell her that I had prepackaged chicken that was de-boned. She said good luck and feeling a new sense of Julia Child inspiration, I finished up the Chicken Mole Soup.

The Chocolate Festival was outside at Arch Park and of course throughout the day, the weather got progressively worse but not bad enough to keep us hardy Gardinernites inside. My great neighbors, Doug and Joanne even brought down their wash tub and started a fire inside to keep us warm under the pavilion. We all stuck around til 9. The Chocolate Festival treats included:
1) Hot Cocoa with almond extract and WHIP cream....very appropriate given the fallish weather
2) Cocoa Tea (perfect since less sweet than everything else and hot)
3) Chocolate pie with a chocolate graham cracker crust
4) Chili
5) Yummy swizzle sticks
6) Ice Cream!! yes and we did eat it
7) Strawberries dipped in chocolate
8) Chocolate Bark
What a great excuse to catch up with your neighbors!

The chicken mole soup
8 boneless chicken thighs
2 cans 14 oz chunky tomatoes or the kind for chili
1 cup chicken broth
1 onion finely sliced
cumin
2 T minced chipotle peppers
1 T Adobe paste
1 oz chocolate chopped

Cut up chicken, coat with cumin and fry in oil for about 5 minutes. Add onions. Bring broth, tomotoes, chipotles, chocolate, and paste to simmer. Add chicken and onions, simmer for 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked and paste thickens slightly. Serve over rice.


Chocolate Mousse
12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
4 T Butter
1 oz dark Rum
3 oz espresso or dark chocoalte

melt this in double boiler

1 3/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tsp gelatin powder.

take 1/4 cup cream and add gelatin to it. Let it bloom for 5 minutes and then warm over flame but don't let it boil. Add to chocolate mixture after it's melted. Beat rest of whipping cream til stiff peaks form. Fold chocolate in in 2 batches. Let it chill.